What would our loved ones say if they could speak to us before they are interred?

It is well my loved ones, I have found peace…

It was a life well lived…

Do not weep, I am no longer in pain…

It is time to release me from the indignity of sickness…

Oh my children, who will take care of you now???

Oh no, I wasn’t done with my business yet…

The period between death and burial or cremation is one of the most controversial in the existence of the departed. As loved ones mourn, all manner of issues crop up that leave many dumbfounded. This happens, regardless of the person’s background.

In Decemeber 1986, Sylvanus Melea Otieno died of a heart complication. This was the beginning of nearly half a year of courtroom battles that played out in the public arena regarding burial rights. Despite S.M. Otieno expressly leaving a will stating that he wanted to buried in Ngong where he had bought land and settled with his wife, Wambui Otieno, his family made it very clear that they would bury their “prodigal” son in his ancestral village in Nyalgunga. The legendary case made waves across the country and was written about extensively even on international platforms.

In 1994, Kenya was treated to a quite a spectacle when its only Olympic gold medal holder, Robert Wangila’s funeral became a subject of court battles. The subject in contention was where and how to bury him. For days on end, the court proceedings made the prime news as the country followed the wrangles on radio and television.

When the Vice President, Michael Kijana Wamalwa passed on in London in August 2003, the weeks preceding his funeral were quite dramatic. As the state went about preparing for a send-off befitting his stature, his family home was inundated with children who were coming out publicly to claim paternity. It was quite a spectacle, especially to many who were unfamiliar with the Luhya culture. It begs the question, all this time he was around, how come these matters had never been addressed?

A few weeks ago, police had to intervene and chase away unruly mourners, together with their dead body. The family of the deceased had sold their ancestral land many years back to willing buyers. When their loved one died, they claimed they did not have a place to bury him. They held the funeral service on the sold property and when it was time to put him in the ground, they brought the casket to the front yard of the new owner and dumped it there, demanding to be given a place to dig the grave.

The family of long-serving politician William Ole Ntimama was not spared either at his demise. Mr. George Njoroge filed for a court order blocking the burial of the late politician while a DNA test was done to prove that the late politician was his father.

While all these incidences are going on, many families are grieving without closure. The culture of detaining the dead in hospital mortuaries awaiting the clearance of hospital fees is pervasive across the health sector. This is not an occurrence of the private sector only. It happens even more commonly in the public hospitals. It is a matter that has raised concern among Kenyans, with some even demanding that parliament passes legislation outlawing this.

The trend demonstrated in the various events above points to a belief harboured by many of us that interment of the dead is final. We do not believe that there can be continued engagement about the departed after the final ceremonial rites have been carried out.

Children born out of wedlock will not be officially recognized if they are not accorded that honour during the funeral service. Families will be seen to have “lost” their kin if they do not get to bury him on the family land. There is even war about who gets to keep the death notification certificate!

This cultural mindset sets the pace for our financial engagements, spilling right back into matters of debt settlement. Institutions then hold the belief that the most valuable possession for the family of the deceased is the actual body, hence the only way to ensure debt settlement is holding on to it.

Unfortunately, the only time the next of kin demonstrate unity in facing the bills left behind is before the last rites. Once these are done away with, the burden is left to the immediate family to resolve. This has paved way for the negative culture of holding onto the dead.

The conversations need to be much broader than dealing with the end point. Hospital bills are devastating families and impoverishing them. It is simplistic to assume that once one has passed on, that it is immoral for the hospital to recover its cost of care. Hospital costs will continue to accrue irrespective of the eventual outcome.

As the ailing patient deteriorates, the loved ones get more desperate to do whatever it takes for him to get better. It is almost impossible to expect them to make rational financial decisions at that time. Families will fundraise to take a terminally ill cancer patient to India even when it is clear that he will not get better. This is the nature of mankind. The same family will still call upon the same well wishers to fundraise to bring the body of their loved one back home for burial.

What we need are solid, continuous conversations around this sensitive issue. All of us are potential healthcare debtors. Universal health coverage alone will not cure this. There is need for a mind shift among us all. It is possible to have clear processes that allow hospitals to recover their costs without taking away dignity even in death!

Nbosire1

Nbosire1

Underneath the white coat is a woman, with a deep appreciation for the simple joys of life. Happy to share my experiences and musings with you through my work and life!

Post A Comment:

0 comments: