What would our loved ones say if they could speak to us
before they are interred?
It is well my loved ones, I have found peace…
It was a life well lived…
Do not weep, I am no longer in pain…
It is time to release me from the indignity of sickness…
Oh my children, who will take care of you now???
Oh no, I wasn’t done with my business yet…
The period between death and burial or cremation is one of
the most controversial in the existence of the departed. As loved ones mourn,
all manner of issues crop up that leave many dumbfounded. This happens,
regardless of the person’s background.
In Decemeber 1986, Sylvanus Melea Otieno died of a heart
complication. This was the beginning of nearly half a year of courtroom battles
that played out in the public arena regarding burial rights. Despite S.M.
Otieno expressly leaving a will stating that he wanted to buried in Ngong where
he had bought land and settled with his wife, Wambui Otieno, his family made it
very clear that they would bury their “prodigal” son in his ancestral village
in Nyalgunga. The legendary case made waves across the country and was written
about extensively even on international platforms.
In 1994, Kenya was treated to a quite a spectacle when its
only Olympic gold medal holder, Robert Wangila’s funeral became a subject of
court battles. The subject in contention was where and how to bury him. For
days on end, the court proceedings made the prime news as the country followed
the wrangles on radio and television.
When the Vice President, Michael Kijana Wamalwa passed on in
London in August 2003, the weeks preceding his funeral were quite dramatic. As
the state went about preparing for a send-off befitting his stature, his family
home was inundated with children who were coming out publicly to claim
paternity. It was quite a spectacle, especially to many who were unfamiliar
with the Luhya culture. It begs the question, all this time he was around, how
come these matters had never been addressed?
A few weeks ago, police had to intervene and chase away
unruly mourners, together with their dead body. The family of the deceased had
sold their ancestral land many years back to willing buyers. When their loved
one died, they claimed they did not have a place to bury him. They held the
funeral service on the sold property and when it was time to put him in the
ground, they brought the casket to the front yard of the new owner and dumped
it there, demanding to be given a place to dig the grave.
The family of long-serving politician William Ole Ntimama was
not spared either at his demise. Mr. George Njoroge filed for a court order blocking
the burial of the late politician while a DNA test was done to prove that the
late politician was his father.
While all these incidences are going on, many families are
grieving without closure. The culture of detaining the dead in hospital
mortuaries awaiting the clearance of hospital fees is pervasive across the
health sector. This is not an occurrence of the private sector only. It happens
even more commonly in the public hospitals. It is a matter that has raised concern
among Kenyans, with some even demanding that parliament passes legislation
outlawing this.
The trend demonstrated in the various events above points to
a belief harboured by many of us that interment of the dead is final. We do not
believe that there can be continued engagement about the departed after the
final ceremonial rites have been carried out.
Children born out of wedlock will not be officially
recognized if they are not accorded that honour during the funeral service.
Families will be seen to have “lost” their kin if they do not get to bury him
on the family land. There is even war about who gets to keep the death
notification certificate!
This cultural mindset sets the pace for our financial
engagements, spilling right back into matters of debt settlement. Institutions
then hold the belief that the most valuable possession for the family of the
deceased is the actual body, hence the only way to ensure debt settlement is
holding on to it.
Unfortunately, the only time the next of kin demonstrate
unity in facing the bills left behind is before the last rites. Once these are
done away with, the burden is left to the immediate family to resolve. This has
paved way for the negative culture of holding onto the dead.
The conversations need to be much broader than dealing with
the end point. Hospital bills are devastating families and impoverishing them.
It is simplistic to assume that once one has passed on, that it is immoral for
the hospital to recover its cost of care. Hospital costs will continue to
accrue irrespective of the eventual outcome.
As the ailing patient deteriorates, the loved ones get more
desperate to do whatever it takes for him to get better. It is almost
impossible to expect them to make rational financial decisions at that time.
Families will fundraise to take a terminally ill cancer patient to India even
when it is clear that he will not get better. This is the nature of mankind.
The same family will still call upon the same well wishers to fundraise to
bring the body of their loved one back home for burial.
What we need are solid, continuous conversations around this
sensitive issue. All of us are potential healthcare debtors. Universal health
coverage alone will not cure this. There is need for a mind shift among us all.
It is possible to have clear processes that allow hospitals to recover their
costs without taking away dignity even in death!
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