The fight for gender equality is always viewed from the female perspective but men are waking up to the reality that they too have been dealt a raw deal when it comes to appreciation. With multiple days set aside to celebrate women, men too have asked for their place at the table and father’s day is finally gaining traction.

This year, as we marked father’s day this past Sunday, as I took a moment to celebrate my own father, I wish to celebrate another father in our midst, who has allowed us to see that it is possible to raise a baby on your own as a father and do it with grace!

The tragedy of losing the mother of his daughter to a bleeding complication when their baby was barely three months old has turned Tedd Josiah into an inspiration to many for the past several months. The image many people had of Tedd was one of a high flying celebrity who was going places and certainly did not look like the type of man to change diapers.

However, he surprised many when he got down to the business of parenting in a way that was most unexpected. Every day from five o’clock in the evening until eight in the morning and throughout the weekends, he is the sole caregiver to his daughter.

He has been in the paediatrician’s office for every vaccine and gone home to nurse the fever that comes with it. He has battled with his baby’s eczema and can give you the full rundown of the various soaps, creams and ointments in the market for the condition. He knows firsthand the pressure a mother feels when your baby falls off the bed or crib and you spend the week feeling like the world’s worst parent.

How about your child’s nutrition? How many dads actually know the cost of a tin of formula? How many know that by the time a baby is heading to one year, she can consume three tins a week? When single moms sue for child support and the world thinks they are being greedy, please remember that not every woman can sustain breastfeeding!

As if feeding an infant isn’t hard enough for a single father, throw in challenges of lactose intolerance and everything takes a nose dive. Many babies battle with nutritional challenges that may take forever to diagnose, from the common protein allergies to gluten sensitivity and gastro-esophageal reflux.

It takes a lot of patience, numerous trips to paediatricians, allergists and nutritionists to find what works for your baby. Yet good nutrition is the cornerstone to good childhood development. It is the reason why the weighing scale is the first stop for any baby in a hospital or clinic. We all stop to admire a healthy baby with chubby cheeks and are quick to judge a mother with a small baby yet we have no idea what a terror mealtimes are in her house.

 The market may be flooded with competing brands of diapers all around but that has not translated into the cost being affordable. It is ridiculous just how many diapers a newborn runs through in the first two months of life. Every diaper is soiled with stool and requires to be changed every two hours. Where are the tax breaks on such essential commodities? How will we prevent diaper rash when the cost of diapers per day is equal to the cost of feeding the entire family?

Beneath the social media veneer, Tedd knows firsthand how costly it is to be a father. Apart from the direct costs of raising a child, he fully understands the unspoken costs that come with it. If you haven’t appreciated it when women complain about unequal opportunities at career progression in the work place die to the interruptions motherhood brings, then hear it firsthand from a man. Tedd lost his job four months ago and may be on the verge of losing his house if the situation is not remedied soon.

The many nights a mother will stay awake to sponge a febrile baby and wipe up vomit will translate to poor performance at work the whole week. She will be passed over for a promotion because she was away on maternity leave and yet we wonder why there are such few women at the top of the corporate ladder. Kudos to any man who has an appreciation for the sacrifices his wife will make to raise their family.

The loss of a mother in a child’s life is catastrophic. It is estimated that an infant whose mother dies within the first 42 days of birth is 40 times more likely to die compared to one with a living mother. It is paramount that as we strive to prevent maternal deaths, we also figure out how fathers can begin to bridge this gap by stepping up when needed to. They cannot afford to be distant anymore.

As fathers strive to provide for the material well-being of their children, it is worth remembering that the emotional and psychological well-being is even more important. In addition, we must remember that we cannot teach our sons about gender equality when they have no role models when it comes to how to care for the little ones as part and parcel of fatherhood.

Today, Tedd’s daughter may say ‘mamma’ before verbalizing the word ‘daddy’ but in her world, daddy is everything!

Nbosire1

Nbosire1

Underneath the white coat is a woman, with a deep appreciation for the simple joys of life. Happy to share my experiences and musings with you through my work and life!

Post A Comment:

0 comments: