ADOLESCENTS: A NEGLECTED FUTURE GENERATION?

Amanda* is a thirteen year old twin sister to Jeremy. A bubbly, bright, ambitious young girl who may be mentally precocious for her age. Her brother is reserved, almost shy and a complete introvert.
 

To the public, Amanda is the model teen. She is driven, responsible and outspoken. She helps with her younger sibling, she helps with chores around the house and is never in trouble at school. Her parents are happy with her development and thankful to have a child who is not a trouble-maker.
 

But for the last few months, Amanda has been sickly. She is in and out of hospital and has seen a dozen specialists, undergone a bunch of tests and treatments to no avail. Her parents are so worried. They have spent a pretty penny to restore her health but she continues to have relapses. They have missed work and spent countless nights in the hospital hoping that Amanda's misery would end.

Amanda has attended less than 25% of her school term due to ill health. She will brave school attendance and her parents will be called before noon to come for her as she is in immense pain.

But a closer look at this whole episode leaves one confused. After a rough night for Amanda, in pain, the next day her parents are not comfortable letting her go to school. She will spend the whole day on the couch watching television, eating junk food and playing games on her phone. The parents will call home repeatedly to check on her and be reassured that she is convalescing nicely. The moment they arrive home, Amanda will be a complete invalid again.
 

The National Institute of Health reports prevalence of adolescent depression at 11.2% while the National Adolescent Health Information Centre reports that one in five adolescents experience significant symptoms of emotional distress. Adolescents will commonly suffer from somatoform disorders, conversion disorders among others, as a result of deep underlying unresolved mental and psychological issues that remain unrecognized and un-acknowledged.
 

With the changing lifestyles in our society currently, parents are increasingly away from home and the roles of the nurturer are handed over to other people: nannies, older siblings, relatives, teachers, coaches and the church. The young children with be raised by people other than their parents and once they get to adolescence, everyone breathes a sigh of relief at the passage into a less dependent stage of life.
 

Adolescents are often regarded as independent. They can spend time with friends without full time supervision, they can safely cross the road alone, light a match without setting the house on fire, make simple purchases and keep track of expenditure and may prepare a snack or basic meal.

Caregivers and parents subconsciously begin to let go and assign the adolescents more responsibility.

In an effort to prove their independence and responsibility, the adolescents may carry out their responsibilities with vigor to prove they should be given more room to be adults.  This is good for development but poses a danger to parents and caregivers who may stretch it too far.
 

Parents start to cede responsibilities to the adolescent to the point of neglecting them. They dish out money and expensive toys and strive to keep up with fashionable lifestyles while drifting farther and farther away from their children. Materialism replaces real warmth. They swap expensive elite boarding schools for bedtime stories, posh pool parties for family days together, chauffeurs for parent drop-off and pick-ups,  expensive electronic gadgets for family holidays and the list goes on.
 

But an adolescent is still a child. No amount of school trips to Europe and birthday parties in Dubai can replace a mother's embrace or time spent filling a crossword puzzle with dad. To this end, the adolescent will demand attention in some pretty unorthodox ways. We always expect rebellion and truancy. But subtle methods can also be employed such as conversion disorders.
 

Psychiatrists and child psychologists encounter difficulties dealing with this because the parents have a hard time believing that there may be nothing physically wrong with their children. The children are usually the non-trouble makers, hence there may be no red flags. Instead, the heavy health insurance covers are brought out and the children visit dozens of specialists, even abroad, to cure the need for parental attention. The time spent with the adolescent centers around hospitals and doctors and therefore ill health becomes rewarding.
 

It is prudent for parents to recognize this in their pursuit for material comforts and career progression. The children keep growing and every stage has its requirement of parental attention. Even the teen fights that parents have with their adolescents are part and parcel of the complete package. Do not miss out on this crucial phase of shaping your child into a functional future adult. It could nip their potential in the bud!